i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
