i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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