I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
