You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
