I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
