i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
