Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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