let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
