the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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