But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
