i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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