Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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