I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
