btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
