Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
this is an emotional support booty call
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
