so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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