I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
