i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
