Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
