I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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