hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
