you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
