she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
