Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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