What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
