So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
