Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
