At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize