is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
