I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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