We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
