I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
