oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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