Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
