i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize