K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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