Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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