its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
