If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just had sex bonerless
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize