Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
