I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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