did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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