We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
How does it feel to date your dad?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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