belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
