Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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