Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize