im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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