I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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