Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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