I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
