She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
