I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
