it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize