we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
