Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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