so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
love makes seman taste better
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
