He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
