i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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