We're like a lot better than the average bears
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
