how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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