he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
