If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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