just tell him i said nine months
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
